Is a Nanny Share a Workable Solution for You?

Published by Matt Mason,

Is a Nanny Share a Workable Solution for You?

A nanny Share as a childcare solution has been around for a while. And they can be cost-effective. But there are certainly some lookouts to consider if, as a family, you feel this is your favoured route to childcare.

What is Nanny Share?

Simply put, this is when two families get together and secure a nanny to look after their children simultaneously in one or both of the family homes.   Think of it as a childcare bubble.  More often than not, the families live close by, and the children are at a similar developmental stage. 

I really enjoy working with in a nanny share. I think it’s a win-win situation for everyone involved, the parents can share childcare costs, the child/children will always have socialisation with other children. Some of the nanny shares I have worked with in the past the children have continued on to the same school together making the experience less daunting, having a friend with them. As a nanny the benefits are a pay increase and variety of working with different children. 

Nanny Katie

What’s the potential saving?

The two employing families share the cost of the nanny.  Nannies often – and quite rightly – charge a premium for Nanny Share roles. Depending on the nanny’s experience level and the dynamics of the position on offer, expect a 15% to 20% (or more) premium on typical hourly rates. 

So, there is a significant cost saving compared to a nanny working for a single-family when compared to two (or more) children attending a local nursery.  But be warned – for success, it needs a careful approach.

Important note: While Nanny Shares can offer an overall saving as you split the cost between two (or more) families, each participating family should pay at least the national minimum wage. 

Each family within the nanny share must register as a domestic employer with HMRC and meet PAYE responsibilities, i.e. income tax, national insurance, pensions, etc.

What’s the PAYE / Tax position of Nanny Share positions?

It’s no different from any other form of nanny employment.  If the role generates more than £242* of weekly gross pay to the nanny, it must be declared to HMRC for deductions.  The fact the salary is shared between two families is no consequence. (*HMRC declaration threshold tax year 23/24)

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NannyPAYE – our payroll experts – can help you with all this by running your payroll for a monthly fee.

Giving a nanny share the best chance of success

I don’t want to review all the potential pitfalls, but often. Nanny Shares start with the best intentions and become unpicked.  Remember, you’re asking a nanny to take on at least two children and two different family dynamics.  And that’s not easy!  

Just think of the last time you went on holiday with another family. Sometimes, it’s the little things that create problems. And now you’re passing all that onto a professional nanny to manage. 

Planning, communication and openness must define your way into a nanny share and your ongoing management of this essential working relationship. 

Finding the right family to share a nanny with

Ideally, you’ll start a share with a family you already know.  If there’s a joint family history to draw from, it will help you create the right opportunity for a nanny.  And help you communicate what is and isn’t working – more on that in mo!

If it’s a Nanny Share with a family you don’t know well, consider gamifying the process.  There are lots of tools that help parents identify their style of parenting. That’s not to say that families need the same parenting approach, but it helps to know the differences.

Here is one of many tools that could prove to be a great conversation starter:

Both complete the exercise together and talk about the similarities and differences.  It will help you understand the dynamics behind sharing a nanny.  It will also help you better understand what kind of nanny you are after.

Before making approaches

Assume nothing and talk through everything. 

Work out who the principal contact is in each family.  Not to exclude other family members, but there must be clear and consistent lines of communication between the families. If you can’t work this out during the planning, it’s a good indicator it won’t work when the arrangement starts.

Then, consider going one stage further.  Is there one person who is the primary contact for the nanny?  Again, that’s not to say the nanny doesn’t communicate with the other family principal, but when it comes to locations, timings and last-minute changes, one family contact takes the lead.

They may also be the lead person in managing the search.  Someone taking the lead will make the whole search experience much more streamlined, but it requires one person to step up.

The Whatsapp logo - a great tool for working in harmony

Top tip:  Apps like WhatsApp are your friend here.  But be considerate in use.  Nanny doesn’t need to see a debate and then get given direction, so perhaps have two channels:  One between principals to finalise decisions. Then, one that includes the nanny to provide agreed feedback. 

Building the nanny share plan

There are a whole host of things here that both family principles have to define and agree on:

  • Experience level: If a nanny looks after at least two children, you want to be confident they can handle everything the average day throws at them!
  • Accreditations and qualifications: Building on the above
  • Pay: What are the upper and lower limits, considering the desired experience level? And that nanny shares can command a 20%+ premium
  • Work schedule:  This can become complex as one family might want an extra day. So the more transparent you are from the onset, the more likely you’ll find the right solution for both families
  • Primary care location:  Does one home lend itself to childcare more than the other?  Or will it be a mix of the two? If so, how does the nanny manage that?  Typically, the more consistent you can be, the better all-around.

Top tip: General rule of thumb is that the more spacious home will work best for the nanny and the children under their care.   

We recommend that the two family principles get together and use the Army of Nannies search request form to guide the conversation.  Follow the steps, and you should cover everything in a logical order.  If a lead principal is managing the search, they can press ‘go’ when it’s all agreed.

Army of Nannies logo

And then there are more specific things:

  • How are extra expenses covered? Many modern bank card solutions will allow both families to top up credits for agreed extras.
  • Are there any transportation considerations and costs?
  • And does the nanny have the right equipment to look after two children?  E.g. double strollers for babies etc.

There could be an endless list here, but only by talking it through and imagining a nanny’s day will you get to the right shortlist for your specific situation!

Top tip:  One way of approaching this is to create a list of ‘must-haves’ and ‘nice to haves’. And then, by family-to-family negotiation, agreeing what the primary and secondary criteria are – the perfect opportunity for a bonding take-away! 

Agreeing on the interview and selection process

Our Welcome a New Nanny post offers a guide you can adapt to build a plan specific to your joint needs.

Things to think about are:

  • Who leads the interview process: It’s an excellent idea to have one parent nominated as the lead
  • When does a nanny meet both sets of parents?
  • When and where does a nanny meet the children?
  • How do you communicate with each other, e.g., through WhatsApp

None of this is that hard to work out, but jointly build a plan you are happy with and then try and stick to it.

Approaching holidays

A nanny posted a good point in support of this blog:

I know lots of nannies on nanny shares that faced a problem when came to holidays because famillies don’t take hollidays at same time. So the nanny still has to work for one of the famillies and then don’t get much of a holiday.

Thank you, Nanny Sabrina

There are a couple of things to pull out here:

  • Communication: Both between the families and also with the nanny is critical
  • Advanced planning: Agree on an approach for how holiday plans for the families and the nanny are formed and agreed
  • Transparency: Being open with your nanny and getting their feedback will likely win their support
  • Consideration: Beyond the agreed holiday allowance, try to make it workable and fair.
    • Can the families holiday at the same time on occasion
    • Does the nanny have sufficient notice of plans
    • Does the nanny also enjoy some flexibility
    • Does it feel fair and reflect the ‘childcare team’ mentality you are trying to create?

Contracting a nanny share

There are two contracts to think about here.

  1. An informal contract between the parents! Don’t be shy in writing down exactly what you’ve both agreed on. It’s an important reference point to have if things change.  It doesn’t have to be a legally drafted document, but getting it down and agreed upon from the off is good. And remember to consider the small stuff – like who pays for food and expenses. Do you create a joint bank account – like Monzo – and supply the nanny with a card, etc.?

    Also, agree to a notice period for any changes.  If one family changes plans, that could leave the other family (or the nanny) in a difficult position.  Therefore, agree on a reasonable, fair notice period to all parties.
  2. A contract with the nanny.  We strongly recommend using one of the many nanny contracting services.  We recommend NannyPaye. We’d also recommend you use them for their PAYE services. We’ve all got enough headaches regarding childcare, so when it comes to contracts and pay, get the experts in!

How to contract and pay your nanny

We recommend speaking to our payroll expert, NannyPaye.

NannyPaye telephone number 01737 816 320 on a white background

They bring to bear a wealth of experience with Nanny Share relationships. With a simple call, you’ll get the expert advice.

Feedback loops

We’ve already touched on this regarding WhatsApp groups, but make sure you have open feedback loops. It’s not the ideal 1-2-1 situation, so to compensate, ensure there are opportunities for feedback. 

Open feedback will help the relationship thrive.

Top tip:  Have a family(s) daybook that encourages open dialogue from developmental milestones to what hasn’t worked in the planning of the day.  Allow everyone to make constructive and positive comments on what is and isn’t working.

Reviewing the relationship

Sometimes, the reasons why a Nanny Share was a good idea can change.  And more often than not, it’s the parents’ world that changes. Therefore, regular review dates should be set up between the families and the nanny.

Respect in every direction

Just as you’ll respect the sharing family, respect the nanny you’re sharing. If things change – as they do – and if Nanny knows what’s coming, they are much more likely to be accommodating and work with you through any transitions. After all, we’re all grown-ups, and things change, especially with Nanny Shares, as there are more variables.  And that’s why nannies charge a bit of a premium.

In summary

This is not an exhaustive list; these are some things you may need to consider.

Nanny shares can be a great success, but they take that little bit of extra effort to make it so: 

+ Put time into the set-up and planning.
+ And also into the nurturing of the working relationship with the nanny. 

= And the benefit of getting it right can make the extra effort worthwhile on all fronts.

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